Habits of Captivating Women Who Always Attract Men

We have all known women who always seem to have a man who adores them. They enjoy effortless relationships with the opposite sex that are both platonic and romantic. She’s the one that doesn’t seem to struggle with attracting men at all, so when she’s single, it’s because she wants to be and not because she can’t get a guy.

On a scale of one to ten, her confidence level is a twelve, emanating from every pore of her body. Life always seems to work out for her.

Then, there’s you.

You’ve been dateless for months, not because of a lack of trying. You’ve gone out on blind dates and signed up for dating sites for college students because broke kids have got to be desperate, right? Wrong! You didn’t score there, either.

Your last desperate attempt was with the nice guy you friend-zoned, who had a crush on you at work. But when you asked him to hang out, he rejected you. What mojo do some women work with that you can’t seem to find?

If you’re looking to up your confidence game and round up all the guys so you can have your pick, today is your lucky day! Here are some (non-scientific) traits of irresistible women who always attract the opposite sex.

They Put the Work in to Stay Happy

And by work, we mean they chill. This isn’t like doing a full workout to increase your muscles. This is more like relaxing and not letting the little things bother you.

We’re also not referring to the irritating I’m-faking-being-happy-with-this-bogus-smile-plastered-on-my-face.

It’s more like an I’m-not-letting-the-little-things-annoy-me type of attitude. This person is content with their life but still enthusiastic about what’s to come.

This isn’t to say they’ll always be happy-go-lucky because that’s impossible. Every once in a while, they might throw themselves a pity party, but they won’t stay there for too long because it doesn’t feel good, and who wants to be sad long-term?

They Take Accountability for Their Own Lives

People tend to be happier and more positive when they believe they’re responsible for their lives (for better or worse) rather than relying on outside circumstances to dictate how they feel.

Blaming something or someone else is unattractive since it puts negativity into the world, which other people often absorb. Plus, according to the law of attraction, when you’re negative, that’s what comes back to you.

For example, if you go to work with a bad attitude because you hate your job, people will notice and give that energy back to you. Soon, the entire office is one big ball of negativity.

Desirable people aren’t walking around bitching and complaining about how things suck. If they don’t like something, instead of waiting for someone to come along and improve it, they fix it themselves because that’s the definition of accountability.

If it’s an issue they can’t fix, they don’t dwell on it or get angry. They move on, recognizing there’s a better solution.

They Are Always Optimistic about Life

If you’ve had a bad morning, the first thing you do is probably grumble and gripe for the rest of the day. Before you know it, your bad mood sets the tone for the rest of the week.

Did you know positivity doesn’t just happen by accident? It’s a choice that desirable people make daily. Of course, certain life circumstances will bring you down, but on the whole, desirable people believe that good things always come to them.

So, how do you become more optimistic? It’s easy—look toward positive things more often than you look at the opposing side.

Even in the bleakest of situations, there’s usually something to be grateful for.

For example, if you lose your job, don’t see it as being out of work and not making money. Look at it as having more free time to concentrate on starting your own business.

You’ve saved enough money to last without income for a year, so you’ll take this time to figure out what you want to do. Desirable people turn negative situations into blessings in disguise.

They Find the Good in Everyone–Especially Themselves

Being in a positive relationship with the opposite sex or with friends and family is much more challenging when you are constantly glancing over your shoulder and thinking about how someone is plotting against you. Or, you’re thinking, “nothing this perfect can last for long.” Of course, with that kind of thinking, it won’t!

By the same token, when things go south, or they feel dread about their relationship, instead of launching into blame mode, desirable people realize that they could be overreacting, so they bring it back to chill mode.

For instance, if it appears that their partner could be telling an untruth about a situation, they will give their partner the benefit of the doubt before jumping to conclusions.

Note: This is not to say you can take advantage of a desirable person because you think they’ll always believe the best in you. That’s not the case because if they’re betrayed, they’ll move on and leave their ex mourning the loss of someone great who was always in their corner.

Additionally, they understand how to treat themselves with the same compassion they give to others. Being desirable doesn’t mean they’re perfect, but it does mean they don’t beat themselves up for their mistakes.

They live by the motto “shit happens” because, well, it does. For example, they may have made a mistake in judgment with a friend, boyfriend, or coworker.

Instead of harping on the error, they’ll chalk it up as a learning experience and do better with their friend selection next time.

They Opt to Take Care of Themselves for Themselves

We’ve all seen that woman who goes to the gym, keeps her hair styled, and has her nails done. While she looks nice, that kind of upkeep can be exhausting if you do it for the wrong reasons, including for a guy or because you want to look better than everyone else at the office.

So what’s the right reason?

When you look good because you want to, that’s the right reason. You may have been slacking in maintaining your body, mind, and soul, so you want to get in shape and eat right to feel and look good.

You’re not taking care of yourself because you’re trying to impress others. Although getting compliments is nice, there are other reasons you’re taking care of yourself.

You want to look and feel good because you deserve it. Plus, nobody wants to feel as if their body is falling apart. We want to feel strong, confident, and powerful, which requires maintenance.

When you get your body together for reasons other than yourself, you’re not displaying the one common trait desirable people have: high self-esteem. You’re simply working hard to look good for someone else. Is that truly worth it?

Another common trait of desirable people is that they try to do their best with what they’ve got. They’re not complaining their breasts aren’t bigger or that their thighs are too jiggly.

Instead, they firm up what they can in the gym and let nature do the rest. This is just one more reason people find them attractive.

Habits That Ruin Your Attractiveness

We’ve all had those days when our hair and makeup were on point. You’ve been going to the gym regularly, so that outfit hugs you perfectly. You look good today, and you know it!

Then there are those other days. You know what we’re talking about. You curled your hair the same way, but nah, it’s not working today.

Your makeup looks like a clown, and today for some reason, that outfit showcases your belly, which shouldn’t look bloated since you’ve been doing those extra sit-ups. So what’s the difference?

You’re always trying to up your game in the looks department because scientific studies show that if a person likes how something–or someone else–looks, they believe it or that person is useful.

In the case of a romantic attraction, depending on appearance, an individual will decide if a person is worth pursuing as a partner.

So, if you’re sitting there wondering why specific people might not measure up to your standards of attractiveness (or you theirs), here’s a little helpful insight that can provide some clues.

1. Constantly Discussing Your Insecurities or Shortcomings

You say you’re “too tall,” “too short,” “too fat,” “too thin,” “too this,” “too that,” we get it! we get it! we get it!

Regularly discussing what you perceive as shortcomings tell people one thing: you’re insecure. And sadly, insecurity is not on the attractive list because if it were, most of us would be Greek gods and goddesses by now.

As we become comfortable with others, we start telling them how we feel. The problem with that is most of what we discuss is negative.

You’re not telling them you love your new haircut or have found a way to curb your anxiety. Instead, you’re doing the opposite.

This especially goes for people who have abandonment issues. Sometimes when they tell a potential partner or their current partner that they don’t feel attractive and that everyone leaves them, their partner, or potential partner, will eventually go. People don’t want to deal with that much negativity, especially from someone else regularly.

Unfortunately, when people get comfortable with an individual, they feel like they should be able to admit these things to someone they’re in a relationship with. But that’s often not the case.

Ultimately, their insecurities become self-fulfilling prophecies if given additional energy, and they’re back at square one. So when a partner gets fed up and leaves, the abandonment issues are triggered again, becoming a vicious cycle.     

What are you hoping to gain by discussing your insecurities with others? Are you looking for words of encouragement from someone other than yourself? This is something you need to figure out on your own. Other people aren’t responsible for your happiness; you are. That’s why it’s called self-esteem.

This constantly happens with online dating sites. For example, you use a hot picture of yourself on your profile, but that was years ago, and you no longer feel the same about your appearance.

When you match with someone, regardless of that hottie on your profile, they will sense your lack of confidence, especially if you’re complaining about your looks.

Unfortunately, whining about your appearance can kill your chances of making a long-term connection.

If your self-doubt persists, consider seeing a licensed professional to help with the issues that may be causing you to feel insecure.

2. Forgetting about Those Inevitable Changes That Come with Time

There are two types of attraction. First, there’s the attraction that most people refer to as chemistry. Chemistry is an actual chemical “high” that groups together neurotransmitters and hormones so that you’re convinced you must attract this person, or they attract you.

When you’re “hyped up” on this chemical hodgepodge of charm and charisma, one thing quickly breaks the trance; physical or emotional pain. Both types of pain set off another neurotransmitter that suspends all the other ones.

In other words, if you’re full of this chemistry and break your leg in a fall, the pain-related brain chemicals snap you out of your obsession.

A painful emotion will do the same. This is one reason why research has said that chemistry lasts no longer than two years. More specifically, for many people, two years of difficulties in the relationship is way more emotional pain needed to kill chemistry.

The other type of attraction has more to do with the alignment of:

  • communication styles
  • values
  • desires
  • likes
  • attitudes
  • body types

You look at a person and think, “This person feels like a perfect fit.” That is, until they don’t. Issues come about through tiny habits such as:

  • poor hygiene
  • inconsistent behaviors
  • change of priorities
  • becoming less attentive

One of the biggest downers is when someone assumes they know what you want, need, or desire, but it turns out to be incorrect. At this point, the attraction will likely burn out.

One last thing you should remember is that with time, changes are inevitable. This goes for physical, mental, and emotional.

Ten years ago, the person you began dating or married wasn’t the same person you’re with now. However, shallow, what you were initially attracted to years ago (slimmer figure, calmer personality) is different from who they have now.

As you pass through time as a couple, you must remember that just as situations change, people change. Back then, they may have been more relaxed and carefree, but now with children and a full-time job, they’re more rigid. The acceptance of that fact will make life much easier.

3. Not Putting a Smile on Your Face Every Day

We’re not talking about walking around everywhere with a clownish, creepy grin on your face. We’re simply suggesting taking time out to smile and say “hello” to someone.

If you’re having an awful day, watch a video or movie that makes you laugh. All it takes is 15 seconds out of your bad day to turn it around completely.

When you don’t smile, it dims your natural beauty. Unfortunately, some take pride in having RBF (resting bitch face), but that likely wouldn’t be the case if they knew they were negatively affecting their attractiveness.

So where does a frown come from anyway? Studies indicate that the motivating factor for a frown is social anxiety, fear, or low self-esteem.

Having a pout or frown is known to push others away or intimidate them. When people frown, it’s a way of appearing unapproachable.

Most people who choose to smile positively attract others. Choosing to smile most days is a more practical approach to improving your attractiveness, so go ahead and show those pearly whites! If you don’t believe us, try it for yourself. Smile today and watch how you’ll be pleased with the response of all those people you attract.

They Strive for Personal Growth

A desirable person is interested in more than just remaining in the same place in their life. They look forward to personal growth and achieving their goals.

Nobody is perfect–including them–and they get that. So, the one thing you’ll always see them doing is raising their standards. They aren’t lax, so they don’t want a partner who is.

Speaking of partners, not only do desirable people have individual goals, they have joint goals with their partners and want to pursue them together. Doing so keeps life with a partner exciting. Otherwise, it can be monotonous and mundane.

Sometimes, people fear having to sacrifice their dreams for a relationship. That should never be the case. Instead, you should find a relationship that works for both of you.

A partner should support everything you strive to do, as you are for them. A passion for something other than your mate helps a relationship grow and expand.

If you want to avoid getting bored with your life (or with your partner), find a passion where you can continuously grow individually and together.

Being attractive isn’t all about looks. Yes, being desirable to others includes appearance, but even more important than looks, being attractive to others encompasses a passion for life, being positive, and knowing your self-worth. The good news is, if you don’t have one or more of these things, you can always work to get them.