The internet dating experience is filled with excitement, sparkle, and plenty of disappointment. Every day, thousands of people set up an online dating profile, and thousands more deactivate theirs – but why? With all the hype that surrounds the #1 way to meet people in the modern age, it is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Too many people fall victim to the belief that the internet is going to churn out their soulmate instantly and when it doesn’t, they are ready to spew their own negativity about the concept. Just like with meeting someone in person, you will meet a lot of frogs online before you meet your prince or princess charming. Before you get too caught up in the internet dating high, keep in mind these five tips for keeping your expectations realistic.
1. Remember, It Takes Time
The studies that show that internet dating courtship is a mere 18 months versus the 36 months of an offline meeting have many people believing that online dating is their ticket to walking down the aisle. If you are serious about finding love online then you are going to be serious about who you select to get to know and date. You will likely find that there are few users that fit your fancy in your local area – but that is just today. Dating websites have hundreds of new users on a daily basis. Statistics would tell you that at least a handful of those new people are going to be in your geographic location each month. Be willing to take the time to let online dating work for you. It might take you more than a few months or weeks to find your special someone – but aren’t they worth the wait?
2. Not Everyone Wants to Date
It is estimated that around 50% of dating site users are not actually looking to date. They are individuals who are browsing their options, looking for a friend to hang out with, or are already engaged in another relationship but haven’t deactivated their profile. At least half of the remaining users are not going to be interested in the type of relationship that you want. Remember that online dating is a place where individuals can meet someone new who is interested in almost any type of relationship, from casual dating to getting married. Don’t get hung up on those that don’t want what you want. Focus on the ones that do.
3. Know When You’re Wasting Your Time
The sad truth is that you will find plenty of users who are only wasting your time with no interest in ever really getting to know you or meeting you in person. One mistake that people make is getting so hung up on the idea of someone before they really get to know or meet them that they feel crushed if the relationship never makes it offline. By watching out for those subtle clues that a person is not all that interested or is possibly already dating someone, you will be able to identify when you are wasting your time. Instead of dwelling on another letdown, move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. You are looking for real chemistry so why fake it with someone who clearly isn’t as interested?
4. Rejection Is Part of the Deal – Get Over It
The first person you meet online is not going to be your soulmate. The tenth person you meet probably isn’t going to be, either. You could be dating for years before you actually find that one person who you want to be your everything. Rejection is part of the deal with online dating. New users especially get offended when someone does not like them, does not respond to a message, or even if the relationship does not pan out. But why? Rejection is not a reflection of the type of person you are. There is no reason to be hurt, upset, or depressed about another user not talking to you. Every rejection puts you one step closer to finding someone who likes you, for real.
5. Be Willing to Put in the Work
Internet dating requires real work if you want to find success. This starts with how you set up your profile and continues on into the way you communicate with users and ultimately meet them in person. The more “leg work” you do in the beginning, the better your results will be. Be willing to put in the effort to fill your profile out completely and with detail – this is more attractive to other users. When communication with another user starts, give it your best effort unless you are not interested in that person. As you work on building that trust, getting to know someone deeper, and finding out enough to determine if they are worth your time, it will make the process of offline dating easier.
The time you invest in online dating is worth the reward of finding that one person you can enjoy for the rest of your life.