When you’re putting yourself out there with an online dating profile, it can be difficult to know where to start! Men want to convey a certain perception that makes them the best choice for people checking out their profiles. They want to create something that speaks for itself and makes a powerfully attractive statement.
But this can be hard to figure out how to do – especially if you’re brand new to the online dating scene. There are so many other profiles out there that it can be impossible to find a good template or come up with something original that’s going to stand out to potential dates. In a sea of seemingly great candidates, what’s going to make your profile special? What’ll make your potential matches want to message you, or answer your messages?
And what can you do for your profile to attract better matches? You don’t want to be attracting people that just aren’t what you’re looking for – you’re aiming to appeal to the cream of the crop. And in order to start something up with that type of person, your profile’s going to have to be on point. So how do you make this outstanding online dating profile?
We’ve got the tips you need to write a dating profile that works for you. If you take these into account, you’ll write an honest profile that attracts the type of matches you’re looking for!
1) Pictures of You – Not Your Crew
It’s great that you have friends, and that you feel confident because of their support! This will be an attractive feature for your matches because it shows that you’ve got some social collateral pulling for you. But the first pictures they see of you aren’t the best way to make that announcement.
Think about it. What’s one of the first things you want to know when you’re checking out someone else’s profile? You want to know what they look like! And you can’t really see how they look if you can’t really tell which person they are in a picture.
Not to mention, you’re inevitably going to be smaller in a picture with more people – meaning they can’t get as good of a look at you as they could if you were solo. You’re not trying to fool anybody – you want to show them what you really look like, clear as day. That way, you can find people who are genuinely attracted to you – which will give you better chances of long-term success!
With that being said, show some variety! Mix it up with a few selfies, a full-body shot, some great face pics, and maybe even some candids. No one’s going to keep scrolling through the same exact type of photo. Keep it interesting to capture the attention of your potential matches so they can see your best self!
Also, no Photoshop or filters, please – those pics aren’t going to get the job done. Remember, authenticity is key! Grainy or blurry pictures aren’t going to serve you, either. If you go this route, people might think they’re getting catfished – or that you’re not really who you say you are. Clear, high-resolution, recent photos are perfect and ready to upload. If you have a great camera phone or have a friend who has one, see if they have portrait mode, and snap a couple of pics to start the series with.
If you really have to post a picture of you and your crew because it’s a can’t-miss, must-see moment, try to keep it to one of the later pictures. At the very least, present yourself in some just-you pictures first and lead into ones where you’re sharing the scene. That way, they still see what you accurately look like and can identify you when they see the whole gang!
2) Say What You Want – In an Attractive Way
It’s important to tell people what type of relationship you’re looking for! This can help ease any misunderstandings that could happen down the road if you don’t. If you’re looking for something more casual, tell people that you’re looking to have a good time with someone. If you want a long-term, committed relationship, tell people that you’re looking for something more serious.
It’s also important to say this in an attractive way! One of the best rules of thumb for this is to focus on telling them what you do want – not what you don’t. There’s no purpose in saying that you don’t want someone to blow up your phone – because you haven’t even started talking to them yet. Listing dealbreakers isn’t a strategy for writing an appealing profile. Anything negative can be a big turn-off and can make people want to run in the other direction immediately. Keep it positive and honest, no matter what you want to say. There are plenty of other online daters in the pool who want exactly what you’re looking for!
There are a lot of online dating platforms that will have a feature where you can select the type of relationship you’re looking for. Still, including a bit more qualitative depth about what you’re looking for in your profile can help you get the type of match you want. I’m not saying you should limit yourself to brunettes and tell all the blondes to go take a hike – that’s actually a very bad strategy! But if you have a strong desire to meet someone who you can raise a dog with, this could be the perfect place to mention it.
3) List Some of Your Favorite Things
Do you love a particular band and feel like their music kind’ve defines you? Put in a blurb about how you love listening to them or enjoy going to their concerts! Are you a sports fanatic? Talk a little bit about your teams, if you go to see them, or if watching them is how you love to spend your time. If you talk about some of your favorite things, you’ll be much more likely to attract better matches that really get you.
Successful matches usually have some things in common – shared interests or activities can take you a long way. By mentioning them in your online dating profile, you’re getting things started before you even start talking to your ideal match.
Talking about what you love also helps to showcase your personality and give your matches an idea of what your lifestyle is like. Like-minded matches will be drawn to you, making your life a lot easier!
You can even include pictures of you enjoying one of your favorite hobbies. Do you have a passion project where you create things? Show your favorite in one of your pictures, and mention that it’s there in your profile in case they want to check it out! Your profile is a place where you can boast a little bit about your talents without seeming arrogant. Don’t be afraid to be confident or even get a little personal. Being authentic and sharing these things about yourself will only help you be more successful in your search!
4) Fill Out the Fields
Since filling out an online profile can be a bit intimidating, it can be pretty tempting to keep it short and sweet. But that’s a missed opportunity on your part! Different online dating platforms ask you different questions, but they all provide plenty of fields for you to fill out. I’m not saying you need to write an essay and write full-paragraph answers for each question – because that would be a bit much. Simple is good, but complete is necessary.
Also, by filling out at least most of the fields, you’ll be able to get better-quality matches for yourself. The more information that’s out there, the more attractive your profile is going to be for the right type of person. If you fill out everything honestly, from your height to your lifestyle choices, the probability of you finding a person who’s fascinated by you in person spikes.
And on that note, it is incredibly important that you fill out every field honestly! Lying about your body type isn’t setting the foundation for a successful encounter with a match. Eventually, the end goal is to meet your ideal match in person and showing up as something you haven’t presented yourself as is pretty much just catfishing. And no one wants to be catfished. Have you seen that show? It’s wild, and you don’t want to be on it! And this doesn’t only apply to physical features – everything you include in your profile should be authentic and genuine so that you can find a match who’s interested in dating the real you. Even if you have some confidence issues, lying or stretching the truth in your profile just isn’t going to find you success.
Don’t be afraid to fill out the fields! Putting yourself out there can be hard because no one wants to get rejected. But if you don’t risk sharing some information, it’s practically impossible to get the results you’re looking for. So share what you can, even if it makes you feel a little vulnerable, and watch the high-quality matches roll in – or be more likely to impress those who you reach out to!
5) Don’t Skimp on the Intro
In your introduction, make sure you’re including things that people are going to want to know! What do you do for a living? What are your favorite things to do? Do you have kids? All of the positive things should be briefly listed so that your matches can get a good idea of who you are and what you’re all about.
The point is to mention things that people really should know so that they don’t get blindsided later. Are you the proud caretaker of an elderly parent? Let them know!
You can also talk about some major accomplishments without making your intro look like a resume. Did you win an award you’re really proud of? Say it simply and sweetly. It’s okay to be proud enough to share about that without presenting it in a cocky way. All of the most positive things in your life are fair game to include in your intro.
With that being said, this isn’t the place to complain about your divorce or break-up or dive into your childhood trauma. Save your life story for later. This is the place to note important things that are significant details in your life so that you can find the right matches for you. This is not the place to talk about anything negative – including mental health issues, anything to do with your exes, or how you’re having a hard time right now.
You might think this sounds a little contradictory – shouldn’t they know that you’re dealing with depression? Isn’t that something that they should really know before trying to date you? Not necessarily. That’s a negative burden that you’re dealing with, but it’s not something that might absolutely blindside them later. If you travel every week for work and only spend the weekends at home, that would be a blindsiding factor. Mention things that affect your lifestyle, not necessarily negative personal aspects, that you can safely discuss with your match once you get to know them better. There’s a time and a place for everything – but there are some things that people deserve to know right off the bat!
6) Choose Your Jokes Wisely
Many men have an amazing sense of humor that they can’t wait to show off to potential matches. The problem is that tired, recycled, punny dad jokes usually come off as exactly that. Your sense of humor will come out in conversation – but it’s very difficult to convey your true level of funniness in your profile!
Sarcasm usually comes off as negative and can be a big turn-off for matches. Dirty jokes or innuendos don’t play well in a profile, no matter what type of relationship you’re aiming to get – they make you seem immature or, in worse scenarios, creepy. Humor is a tough thing to make work in an online dating profile. While there are a few funny wins on the rarely-found profile, it’s a risky chance to take.
If you’re going to include a joke, choose it wisely! Try to say something original and positive. Some people are natural comedians – and humor is incredibly attractive to most matches! If you’ve got the talent, go with it and follow your gut. If you can come up with something super funny and engaging, nothing should stop you from putting it in your profile.
And if you can’t come up with something good at the moment, remember that you can always go back and add something funny later if inspiration hits you. The point isn’t to stifle your comedic craft – it’s to avoid including a joke that’s already been used before or isn’t going to come off in a good way to your matches. If you believe in what you’re saying and really think it’ll be effective, more power to you! Make those matches laugh. I want to send you a message. But when in doubt, leave it out!
7) Review & Proofread
Do you have a friend who’ll look over your profile for you after it’s written? Ask them for help! Getting a second opinion isn’t going to hurt. Maybe you forgot to mention something awesome about yourself that could attract better matches to you. Or maybe you said something in a way that comes off as negative, even though you didn’t intend it to. Having a friend look over your profile can find any snafus before your matches see them.
If you really don’t want to go that route, there’s a method to take on this task yourself! Give your profile some time to settle and come back to it later. You can even post it and see what type of reactions you’re getting, and make adjustments to your profile accordingly. If you write it and then go back to review your profile in a week, you’ll probably be able to see some ways to tweak or edit it that could make it a little better. After a while, there won’t be anything to improve because it’ll be perfect for you! It’ll say everything you want it to say, exactly in the way you want to say it – and that’s the goal. So it’s okay if you start with a great first draft and then treat it like a process until you get the perfect finished product.
While you or your friend are reviewing, do a little proofreading while you’re at it! No – not everyone is looking for someone who uses perfect grammar. The reason to use a free spell-checker is that mistakes in spelling or grammar can distract your matches when they’re reading your profile. You don’t want to throw them off when they’re enthralled by reading about you! You want to keep their attention so that they want to reach out to you to learn more.
Also, everyone knows that free spell-checkers exist. So if you don’t use one, it can make you seem pretty lazy. It doesn’t take much effort to run your text through one of those checkers – and it takes a few minutes at most to make the edits. Part of proofreading is just showing them that you care and that you’re putting in an effort! People don’t want to contact people with profiles that make it seem like the person just doesn’t care. So take a couple of minutes and make sure you’re using the right form of your/you’re – and then feel free to type “ur” in your messages if you see fit!
8) Don’t Obsess
All of you perfectionists out there – I see you. I get it. You want it to be perfect, and you want it to be perfect now before you post it. While the concept of reviewing it over time and making it better and better is appealing, you really want your matches to see the finished product – and only the finished product. You’d rather sit on your profile for that time and only post it when you know it’s done.
This is obsessive – and it’s okay to post something that’s not perfect! You’re not the only person struggling to write the ideal online dating profile. Talking about yourself is uncomfortable for pretty much everyone, and it can come off as a little bit awkward. So your best effort is more than enough, and good enough is good enough for now. Go ahead and get that profile up and running!
Not to mention remember that feedback is going to help you edit if you want. When you see the responses that you get from matches, you’ll be able to alter your profile if you need to. Real-time feedback will point you in the right direction, and you can’t get it if you never post your profile online.
Also, if you’re worried that your perfect match is going to see your profile right away, remember that that’s not how online dating works statistically. It usually takes a while for the right person to find you or for you to find them. So you have a little bit of time to work with! There are a lot of fish in the online dating sea, and it’s a big sea. So you don’t need to put so much pressure on your first steps into the water – you can take your time wading in, and it’ll help you find success in the end.
9) Don’t Compare
And while we’re not obsessing, we shouldn’t be comparing either! It can be extremely tempting to start looking at people who could be your competition. Looking for ideas for your profile from theirs isn’t going to help most of the time because, frankly, you’re different people!
The only thing that comparing yourself to others is going to accomplish is making you feel less comfortable with online dating or the quality of your profile. That’s because you’ll probably fixate on profiles that make you feel lesser-than, as all humans typically tend to do. You might look for people that you wish you were like, as people tend to do with social media profiles. This isn’t going to help your self-confidence. In fact, it’s been proven to have the opposite effect.
So stop searching! Instead of looking at profiles of people that you think might be a better dating prospect for your matches than you are, spend your time looking for matches instead! Focus on the positive aspects of online dating and start the search to find your perfect person. That’s a positive effort instead of a negative one, and it’s much more worth your time.
So don’t compare your profile to others. Save yourself the strife! Worry about your profile and your matches. There’s no need to compare, and any benefits of putting your profile up against another aren’t worth the effort. Take it easy! Do your part, and let the magic of online dating do its job for you – no obsessing or comparing required.