How to Be a Better Listener on a First Date

First date conversation can be intimidating. The only thing worse than trying to be interesting and funny to your date is worrying that they are tuning you out and looking at the restaurant décor. Don’t let your date worry about whether or not you are paying attention to them. Follow these tips for being a better listener.

Make Eye Contact

When you make eye contact with a person, you are showing that you are confident. If you are the person listening, your eye contact lets the other person know that you are interested in what they have to say. If you are talking, your eye contact makes what you have to say more compelling. Keep consistent eye contact with your date. Just not in a creepy way – look away every so often so you don’t seem weird.

Lean in & Speak Softly

It is natural to sit back when you are at dinner so that you create a sense of space between you and your date. But if you want to come off as a good listener, then you should lean in. Talk quieter to bring your date into the table as well. Both of you will enjoy the close proximity during your conversation which makes everything about the evening more intimate.

Record Yourself

Before you head out on a date, record yourself. Carry on a conversation with a friend or yourself and record it. Play it back. How do you sound? If you hate the sound of your voice, the tone, or the grammar/ language that you use, then your date probably will, too. Being conscious of your voice is important for feeling comfortable on a first date.

Be Passionate

No one wants to talk to someone who is bored with their conversation. When you are speaking, be passionate about the topics that you choose to talk about. Speak with enthusiasm and a desire to share your knowledge with your date. Your excitement on the topic will make them more interested in what you have to say. Also, make it a point not to linger on a topic for too long because that can become boring as well.

Ask Questions

The best way to show your interest in what your date is saying is by asking questions. Remember that a few questions are silly. By asking, no matter what you ask, your date will feel like you genuinely care about the discussion topic. When they give you an answer, be sure to also respond positively to what they tell you.

Great conversation is one way to make the date go smoother. If you are easy to talk to and attentive, your date will feel comfortable with you. If all goes well, you will likely be on your way to a second date.