5 Tips to be Fearless in Relationships

Fear in relationships is a truly interesting thing. Our fears are built on our past relationships and they manifest in different ways in our future ones. My friend Leslie made a joke that the guy she was dating was “too good to be true, he probably gave [her] and STD or something” one day that made me think about how we perceive really great relationships. It is not easy for every person who has ever faced heartache or disappointment in a relationship to simply accept a great partner at face value. On some level, you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. The only way to relinquish the hold that your past emotions have on you in your new relationship is to be fearless. If you think this is easier said than done then try out these five tips.

1. Be In the Moment

Inspirational speaker Gabrielle Bernstein is my go-to source for learning how to be in the moment. When I am with the guy I am currently dating, it is easy to be in the moment and go with the flow. But when we are in our separate cities, 50 miles apart, suddenly I am dreading every moment and agonizing over what will happen next. Truthfully, it’s exhausting! When we live in the moment we choose to not let past or future issues bother us. We are only concerned with what is happening right now and how it will shape what’s next.

2. Ignore Your Past

If you have to tell yourself each and every day to that your new love interest is the anything like your ex(es) – that’s okay. We all need daily reminders to keep us focused on the good thing that is in front of us. What is important is that you do not treat your current partner poorly in response to the actions of your ex.

For example, a few weeks ago I got overly emotional towards the man that I am dating and basically broke it off. There were many variable happening at that moment that contributed to having a meltdown. A few days later, I realized that I had reacted to him as if he was an ex. I’m not sure he can fully understand all of that, but I apologized, profusely. This man hasn’t done anything wrong in the last few months and I treated him poorly based on my own buried feelings about something completely unrelated. To be fearless in your relationship, you have to ignore the past and focus on what is in your present.

3. Be Open & Honest

It is safe to say that no one really enjoys talking about their feelings. It is one of those necessary evils of being in a relationship. Your relationship can only benefit from both of you being open and honest about how you are feeling and the things that are going on in your life. If your partner cannot respect, understand or reciprocate your feelings then it’s a good time to call it and move on.

4. Let Love Fill the Cracks

There are heartbroken people all over the world. The difference between those that wallow in their pain and those that move on to happy relationships is their willingness to let love in. It is a natural reaction to push people away and not want to let them get close to you for fear that they will leave. In a fearless relationship, you make the choice every minute of every day with another person to let their love fill you and fill the cracks of your heart and soul. They become the pieces that make you whole.

5. Know When Your Insecurities are Valid

Being fearless in a relationship does not mean you keep your mouth shut and take someone else’s crap. You should always follow your gut instincts about how someone is treating you. If there seems to be too many holes in his stories, then your insecurities about your relationship may be valid. Fearless women know that this is a sign you need to move on. Give honesty and expect honesty back in your relationships but don’t let yourself be so blinded by your affection that you miss the bigger picture.