By a show of hands, how many single people have heard or said that the right person will come into their life when they least expect it? How many of you have convinced yourself that the timing just isn’t right for your ideal relationship? And how many of you have put so much faith in the belief of perfect timing that the years have been wooshing by while your life is at a standstill?
I can promise you that you are not alone. Even I was once a victim of the idea of perfect timing when it comes to love. I think we can all blame Nicholas Sparks, honestly. All those books and movies about love that transcends time and obstacles and lovers who find each other again when the time is right. Unfortunately, that is not real life.
So why do we put so much stock in this concept? What do we hope to gain from it? And why should we stop?
We Need to Believe There Is a Reason
What makes a person choose religion? The answer to this question is that many people want to believe – need to believe – that there is someone out there who has their back. Someone who is controlling their lives when things feel uncontrollable. Whether you call your higher power the ego, the universe, God, or some other name, the reason remains the same.
Believing in perfect timing is similar to this. It gives us a reason for why we are still single. For the reason why the person whom we know we love more than anything is not with us. For the reason why we wait idly by hoping and praying for a sign that says “Today is the day.”
We Fear Therefore, We Blame
Perfect timing is more or less your personal scapegoat. It gives you a reason to not pursue love and, therefore, not risk rejection. It becomes this single factor that we believe can impact our lives. We hope that by having faith in its existence, our entire life will work out exactly as we have dreamed. The white picket fence. The big house. The happy children. But with minimal effort on our part. We become stationary – paralyzed by fear of failed romance – in a vain hope that our dream lover will knock on the door in a storm and instantly fall in love with us. If God or the Universe has our back, then why should we put in any effort? They are the reason we are single. They are in control of making our miracles happen – not us.
Perfect Timing Creates Possibilities
When you stop believing that a higher power is treating you like a puppet in their world and taking control of your life, then you start to believe that perfect timing creates possibilities. If the right set of circumstances are together, then our lives will fall into place. Here is the thing, though, there is no such thing as perfect timing or the right set of circumstances that will make your love life happen. Believing in this is like believing that if you get struck by lightning, then you will become one of those once-in-a-lifetime people who suddenly are the most gifted musicians.
Now, when you squash that idea of perfect timing – what are you left with? You are left with yourself, wanting love but not seeking it. Go and create your own version of perfect timing! The more you put yourself out there and meet new people, the more likely you are to step into that so-called perfect timing you have been searching for.