5 Tips for Dating the Alpha Female

Oct 13, 2014
by Kristine Wilson

It wasn’t that long ago that women were seen as being delicate flowers that needed a man to care for them. That perspective, however, has changed. More women today are being labeled as strong, independent, alpha females – and some men are struggling to adapt.

The hard part for men is letting go of the idea that they need to take care of a woman when she clearly can take care of herself. These women tend to intimidate men and ultimately end up finding it takes them longer to find true love. So what happens when you are a man in love with an alpha female? How do you handle the balance of power in your relationship? Here are five tips to achieving success.

Accept Her Opinions

An independent woman does not want to be in control of the relationship – she wants to be your partner in it. She wants a man who will understand and accept her opinions and work with her to come to find common ground. She wants to be heard and have her viewpoints valued by you. It shows that you respect her, it’s that simple.

Let Her Be in Control, Sometimes

Is there really such a problem with relinquishing control from time to time? If she wants to pay for a weekend away – let her. If she wants to buy you something extra nice even though it’s expensive – let her. As an adult woman, she is capable of making decisions on her own without your input.

Instead of getting upset because she did something nice that you did not or could not do, just accept it. Women generally are not trying to emasculate the men that they love. There is no reason to see her actions as an attempt instead of a genuine gesture that they are.

Give Her Space

My friend Ashley is the type of woman who needs and wants someone to take care of her. She has even told me that she prefers a man who focuses all of his energy on her. I am not that woman. I do not want or need a man to rescue me. I am perfectly capable of doing things on my own. Independent women have their own hobbies, their own friends and their own things to do. While she wants to spend time with you, she also wants to live her life on her terms. Give her the space to do so.

Read Between the Lines

If I had a dollar for every time an alpha female said “I understand” or “I’m fine” while holding back tears, I would be pretty wealthy. A strong woman may not breakdown in front of you but that does not mean she doesn’t have hurt feelings. More of those tears are going to be shed in the confines of the shower or her car in a quiet parking lot than they are in front of you or someone else.

If you know that she probably is not okay with something that has happened (cancelled plans, for example) then address those issues. She will be happier that you made an effort to make it up to her and acknowledged her feelings without her saying anything.

Don’t Try to Change Her

The last thing that any of us want is to be with someone who is constantly trying to change us. If you cannot accept a stronger woman then it is best to let her go and find someone who can. Will there be criticism for old-age thinkers about her personality? Yes. But you are doing it in the name of love. You are attracted to this person because of her strong nature – don’t ever forget it!

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