Growing up, I used to think that there was a specific way that men and women were to act. Their personalities were duplicitous. We were all the same based on our gender. On some level, we are all conditioned to believe this is a case – or at least we were. The modern age of parenting is rife with fights for letting your child be an individual.
As for the adults today, well, they are learning that they, too, have their own individual personalities and that maybe they need to reevaluate what they thought about how they should act. In terms of relationships, this means that there is no generic advice. Bringing two personalities together continues to be an adventure, and you never know what is going to happen.
One personality that is a bit harder to grasp is the highly sensitive type. It has only been within the last decade that the psychological community has started to recognize this as another personality, particularly of women, that needs to be handled with care. These people are not necessarily introverts. In fact, many times, they are the person whom you would never imagine hurting on the inside.
A highly sensitive woman is someone who feels that some words cut like a knife, even when they are said with the most well-meaning intentions. As such, she may need some space to herself or an outlet to release the feelings storming inside. So what do you do as her partner? How do you handle the highly sensitive woman?
1. Understand That She Is Probably Born of Her Circumstances
As a general rule, those individuals with highly sensitive personalities have survived something(s) traumatic. Maybe it was abandonment issues as a child. Maybe it was constant pressure from family. Maybe it was an abusive relationship. She probably does not want to talk about it. She just wants you to understand that she is hurt, even if you do not understand why.
2. Recognize the Danger of Emotional Situations
For someone with a highly sensitive personality, it is difficult to be around people with robust emotions. She might cry at something simple in a movie because she is absorbing the emotions from it. Being around people who are having difficulty in their own lives and projecting it onto others might be stressful and draining for her. As her partner, be a support system. And if possible, remove her from the situation.
3. Give Her Space
This type of personality often wants and needs personal space. They want to simply decompress by themselves. This could be through a hobby, reading, or even just taking a hot shower. Do not feel like she is shutting you out. Instead, give her the space she needs. When she is ready, she will come to you.
4. Be There When She Needs You to Be
There will be times when she needs a shoulder to cry on. That is where you come in. She may not want to dive deep into what she is feeling. She might just want to sit next to someone who loves her and live in silence. Be that person for her. Keep in mind that you might have questions, but they don’t need to be asked. If she wants to share – when she is ready to share – she will.
5. Don’t Try to Change Her
A woman with a highly sensitive personality is not for every man. Some men will feel like they constantly need to walk on eggshells, which is never really the case. This type of person is emotionally evolved enough to understand that even if your actions make her feel a certain way, it is not directly your fault. Let her feel safe to express these emotions in front of you. Don’t try to make her someone she is not.