3 Reasons to Nix Outdated Relationship Rules

Feb 26, 2015
by Leanne Clute

We have all heard those famed outdated relationship rules. “Never go to bed angry.” (and such). There are something like ten of them that are hailed as being the key to a successful relationship and marriage. As sweet as those “rules” are, they were designed around the ideals of a different generation. Today’s men and women are far more independent than those of our ancestor’s generations. We are different people today and therefore need a different set of rules to live by. If you need a reason to ignore these old adages, here are three.

1. Happy Couples are Defiant

Happy couples agree that being spontaneous, adventurous and simply going with the flow is what makes love grand. You may notice that couples who do everything “by the book” appear more stressed and anxious than those who choose to defy all the rules. If that is not a reason to skip following outdated rules, then we don’t know what is.

2. Love is Not Black and White

The problem with these outdated relationship rules that have been droned into impressionable minds for decades is that they are very black and white. We exist in a world where many things about relationships are “gray”. As we have evolved as people, we have learned that there can be many unpleasant obstacles in our relationships that we fight to overcome and keep our love strong. Not every challenge can be resolved in a day or even a week or a year. Building strong, healthy relationships takes time. Instead of worrying about rushing your feelings to not go to bed early, focus on what feels right for your relationship.

3. We Need More than a Soulmate

Two more of these outdated dating rules are “Always be his Plus One” and “Be each other’s best friend.” While both of these are lovely notions, they are not realistic. Most people today have embraced the belief that our soulmates are not just lovers but also friends. We have wide and varied interests that we share with different people in our lives. Each and every one of those people is important to us and sometimes they need to be our plus one or our best friend, not our partner.

Your partner is there to be your support system, love you unconditionally and be the person that you share your dreams with. If you guys do everything together – that’s great. But if you find that your interests are so different that you both do things with other people – that’s great too.

Don’t let old “rules” dictate how your relationship should function. If we are being honest here, there is no rule book to life, dating, love or relationships. Make your own rules and live by those.

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