Things Men Want from You (But Will Never Ask For)

Ladies, does it sometimes feel challenging to know what guys want? If this is you, continue reading the list we made just for you.

It often feels like you need a crystal ball to determine what guys want, and if you agree, you’re not alone. Women can get lumped into the “complicated” category because of their self-expression, but men often wear the tag of being blissfully easy when it comes to their emotions.

The truth is, it’s likely because your partner is reluctant to discuss their feelings in an open environment. Eventually, this can lead to disagreements, miscommunication, and many “I’ve got a headache tonight” moments. It could also stem from challenges with communication, social conditioning, or an ultimate fear of showing people who they genuinely are. Contrary to popular belief, what he wants and needs from you isn’t all about sex.

Here are things men really want from you but will never ask for:

1. Respect

Everyone deserves respect, but women and men tend to view the word differently. Think back to those conversations where you’re venting about your crappy day at work. Your partner jumps in and tries to offer resolutions. Innately, he may be a problem solver. On the other hand, you don’t need him to fix your issues. You simply wanted someone to hear you out.

When you inform him you don’t need his assistance, to him, it may feel like disrespect, even if that wasn’t your intent. Men can sometimes view respect as love, and if you disapprove of things like how he dresses, what he does, or why he responds in a particular manner, he may have difficulty trusting you with his emotions.

So what to do? Accept him as he is, but also take note of the differences in how men and women communicate. Once you do this, it will be easier to acknowledge, understand, and, most importantly, respect his feelings.

2. The Space to Chase

While guys love the thrill of the chase, it isn’t something only men hope to experience. Most people enjoy striving for the best things in life. However, often, during dating, women subconsciously block men from relishing in the chase. Are you the one who always initiates additional dates and texts him instead of waiting for him to reach out to you? If so, you’re not allowing the space for him to feel that male urge to pursue you.

Try changing your mindset to one of allowing the situation to occur naturally, and keep enjoying your best life while doing so. It’s nice to respond to his advances to move the relationship forward but still put in your efforts. However, don’t force it. If he’s genuinely into you, it will happen organically.

How to Get a Man to Chase You

  • Stay busy: Even if you’re not, stop picking up the phone every time he calls, or don’t answer his texts immediately. If he wants a 24-hour companion, he can get a dog!
  • Show him you have a good life: When you show him you’re content in your life, you’re letting him know you don’t need him, but he can be a bonus to your already fulfilling lifestyle.
  • Let him think he’s the one in charge: Some guys want to feel like they’re the ones making the decisions, but that doesn’t mean you’re not the one making the decisions behind the scenes. You just have to be sneaky about it.
  • Don’t let him think he’s your one and only: Even if he is, don’t let him rest in that thought because that’s when they fall off and start taking you for granted. Whether or not it’s true, let him know that other guys are trying to date you, and watch him “up” his game.
  • Demonstrate confidence: Men love women who exude confidence. Regardless of sex, when a person walks into the room, people look at them. That’s the reaction you want him to have.
  • Don’t give it all to him immediately: You don’t need to make out or sleep with him right away. He’s not your man. You owe him nothing, so don’t feel like you do.
  • Stop focusing on him: Sure, he may be a good guy, but your life doesn’t have to revolve around him. You had things going on before you met him, so continue doing those things. For example, have brunch with your friends every Sunday and continue going to Yoga three days a week. Don’t ignore him. Just don’t give him all of your time.

3. Space

We’ve all heard the term “man cave.” Guess what? It’s not some mythological occurrence–it’s an actual thing. Conventionally, women tend to flock together to socialize, talk about issues, and to just plain have some fun together. Men? They mostly like to partake in some alone time to do their own thing. FYI: it has absolutely nothing to do with not wanting to be around you (in most cases.)

The same goes for hanging out with his friends. It’s about being with his buddies–and not about the woman in his life. If you’ve dealt with this in reverse, whereby a guy hates to let you out of his sight, you’ll understand how it feels to be suffocated. That’s one of the fastest methods to end a relationship, whether it’s him or you covering up the issue with a paper bag.

A relationship isn’t merging two people into one super being. Instead, it’s an offer to go on a wonderful journey together, but as two separate individuals who both need a little space along the way.

4. Acceptance of His Assistance

Of course, you’re confident, independent, and capable of caring for yourself. However, those things have absolutely nothing to do with allowing your partner to help you when he feels the need. Everyone loves to feel like someone needs them, especially their significant other, and instead of using emotions, his actions may be his way of showing devotion.

You don’t need to play the damsel in distress role. Guys adore strong women who know how to deal with challenges, whether it’s something emotional or checking the car engine oil. But when he offers to hold the door open for you (even though you’re both walking through the same entrance), he’s expressing his desire to make you happy and feel good. He wants to make life easier for you and to be useful to you. Back in the day, they used to call this chivalry, and there’s nothing wrong with letting him show some toward you.

5. Sexual Variety

It’s damn near impossible to discuss what men want women to do for them without delving into sex. You may think about such things as

  • different positions
  • sexy lingerie
  • hot make-out sessions in private or public
  • sex toys
  • anything new that will drive him wild

He doesn’t want to ask for these things, but he still wants it. Sex is one of the best ways to create intimacy and keep the spark alive.

6. Appreciation and Compliments

A guy will probably never ask you to praise him more for fear of sounding like he’s an egotistical jerk or like he’s high-maintenance and constantly needs his ego stroked.

However, it’s much more likely that he’s regularly complimenting you. Maybe you looked especially pretty one day or said something funny. Maybe you kicked ass at your job, and he’s proud of that fact.

But even if he’s not begging for you to stroke his ego, guys still need reassurance. There’s nothing wrong with a bit of ego-stroking. In fact, praise helps boost self-confidence, and when it comes from you, it makes him feel even more loved. As a bonus, the more frequently you tell him what you love about him, the more you’ll witness those attributes.

For example, if you tell him how much you love his generosity, you’ll start noticing and appreciating it more when he brings home flowers after a hard day at work or when he has dinner prepared as soon as you come home from a stressful afternoon.

7. Keep up the Passion and Spontaneity

Is there anything more attractive than a person who is free-spirited, spontaneous, and willing to be themselves? We think not! Guys love it when a woman has her own views and opinions and expresses what she likes and doesn’t like. They also admire a woman who makes risky choices that bring her joy and happiness.

Couple Passionately Kissing in Field

Men love a little mystery in their women, and what makes them tick? They love to be surprised by a woman’s spur-of-the-moment actions and to feel challenged by the thoughts going through her mind.

If you demonstrate this kind of attitude, it shows you’re comfortable with yourself. You have your own life and trust him enough to reveal it. He wants to admire you, so never hide your fears, passions, or love of belting out your favorite tune in the shower. If he doesn’t enjoy the real you, he’s not for you.

8. You Do the Initiating

How would it make you feel if you had to always initiate sexual intimacy with your man? What if you had to initiate all aspects of your relationships, like phone calls, texts, kissing, and holding hands? You may hesitate to do it all the time because doing so increases your chance of rejection. Well, men also have that same fear of rejection, even in long-term relationships.

For the most part, there’s nothing wrong about this, but for your partner, it’s nice to have the pressure of initiating taken off his shoulders occasionally.

Plus, most guys find it sexy as hell to be in the presence of a strong, beautiful woman who’s confident enough to make the first move!

9. Completely Trust in Him

This idea is simple enough; if your man feels you don’t trust him, he’ll find it difficult to trust you. A sense of empowerment goes along with trusting and being trusted by your significant other. You’re acknowledging that you think he’s an awesome guy, and you feel good that you’ve shown him that you are an upstanding woman who doesn’t play games.

The Law of Attraction states that the energy you send to another person is the energy you’ll get back. When you’re paranoid, jump to negative conclusions, or consistently doubt his intentions, he can become defensive and begin questioning your intentions. He may start thinking, Why doesn’t she trust me? Is she the one cheating?

Another option is that he may end up withdrawing from you emotionally because you’re accusing him of something he isn’t and has not done. It’s exhausting for him because he feels like he can’t win, so his best bet is to pull back from the relationship.

10. Be His Friend

Being your man’s buddy doesn’t entail you sitting around the house in your boxes while sounds emanate from every orifice of your body. (How’s that for stereotyping?) Instead, being his friend means always rooting for him and being on his side. It’s accepting him just as he is, exactly like a true friend would.

Often, even at the beginning of a relationship, it’s simple to fall into the trap of liking most things about your brand-new lover while expecting to change the things you don’t like. Newsflash: you won’t change him!

Worst yet, you’ll make him feel like you’re not supporting him and in his corner. He’ll likely feel like you think there’s something wrong with him because why else would you attempt to change him?

For instance, stop trying to force him out to your champagne brunches every Sunday. If he likes to veg out in front of the television every Sunday while eating pizza and drinking beer, let him. Besides, that’s what your girlfriends are for.

Final Thoughts

Most women are vocal about their wants and needs; Men? Not so much. It’s not because they don’t have desires; they just choose to keep them hidden. Every once in a while, take an emotional inventory. Ask him how he feels, and even then, he may grunt a curt “fine,” and move on with his day.

You’re observant. Try it out if you see he enjoys specific bedroom activities. Don’t wait for him to hug you; grab him first. If there’s anything you appreciate about him, don’t assume he knows. Instead, tell him.

You’re in this relationship for the long haul. You might as well make it as pleasant as possible.