Relationships are never as black and white as we would like them to be. There are plenty of gray areas which we struggle to navigate and understand. Relationship propaganda is abundant, and some of the modern items are still spewing outdated relationship “tips” that simply do not apply to couples today. If you think that some of your fail-safe tips are not so accurate, then you might be right. Here are the five relationship tips that we believe are lies and why.
1. You Need Someone to Complete You
Having someone to share your life with is something we all seek. We have all been fed this idea that another person is what it takes to make our life fulfilled and happy; this is false. The only person who can make your life happy and satisfied is you. When you have negative opinions about your body, your family, your career, and your life in general, it spills into your relationships. Negativity breeds negativity. Instead of having someone who makes you happy, you create a relationship with two unhappy people. Feel complete with yourself, and then you will be open to a relationship with someone else.
2. Space in Relationships Is Bad
More and more, we are learning that relationships actually benefit greatly from space. The idea that we need to spend every waking moment with the person whom we love has changed. It has changed because individuals today are less codependent than our ancestors. Women work and contribute to the family versus staying at home. Men are seen as equals to women, not superior to them. And as we’ve grown as individuals, we have learned to experience and enjoy our own interests and hobbies, which may not be shared with our partners. Relationships benefit greatly from a little – and sometimes a lot – of space. If you feel that you need some time to be yourselves, take it. The only thing it can do is help your relationship be stronger and healthier.
3. Perfect Relationships Are Effortless
We all know that one couple that seems just too perfect. Relationships have always required effort. There is no such thing as an effortless love that simply “works” without any reason. You should want to put effort into your relationship because that is what makes you value your love more than if it were to simply be handed to you. There will always be good times and bad times, and there are rarely times in a relationship where everything is 50/50.
4. The Passion Never Dies
Quite possibly, the biggest relationship advice lie is that passion never dies. Too many people believe this and in believing it will end a relationship when there is less sizzle. Intimacy is an ongoing journey for a couple. It will always ebb and flow with the circumstances of your life and your partnership. If you discover that you have hit a plateau, then you need to talk about it and address the deeper issues that are pouring into your passion. Throwing in the towel should be a last resort in your relationships. Relationships are work. Be willing to do the work – on every level.
5. If You’re Single, There Is Something Wrong with You
Many of the most successful people in this world have done it alone. Authors, actors, businessmen, and women have all carved out their own paths on their own. Society and often our families would have us believe that there is something wrong with you is you are single. Like you need to always have someone by your side and how could you possibly exist by yourself. This mentality is all wrong. As said above, the only person who should complete you, is you. Don’t be caught up in what other people have to say. If you are happy, single, and waiting for that perfect someone – then be single and wait! Individuals who are single learn how to survive and thrive better than those who are constantly in relationships. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you if you are single; don’t let anyone else tell you differently.