Old-School Rules for Dating Don’t Work

A few years ago, my sister and I were driving back from Christmas shopping when she said to me, “I know you wont agree with this, but I just want to get married and be a housewife.” I laughed and said that it wasn’t that I didn’t agree with that. I don’t feel it is right for my life. More importantly, it is an impractical concept in the 21st century.

Gender roles in life and in love are drastically different than they were even 30 years ago. Today’s generation of daters, 50 years old and up, struggle because they were brought up under the guise of these outdated rules and want to believe that it is the way things still should be. Unfortunately, it’s not, and here is what you can do about it.

1. Accept the Things You Cannot Change

People today are far more progressive and independent than they once were. Relationships are far more complex. Things like teen pregnancy and astronomical divorce rates didn’t exist 40 or 50 years ago. Many of our parents or grandparents were married young and have been married ever since. They had wholesome family values, and frankly, times were just simpler. We cannot change the fact that the world today is pure crazy and very different from what we thought it would be like. We can only accept it. By accepting it, we let go of the frustration that comes with relationships, not panning out the way we thought they might.

2. Make More Informed Decisions

Why is it that divorce is so high and relationships never seem to last? It’s because we are in such a rush to feel good that we don’t make the most rational or informed decisions. Choosing to be in a relationship is another decision, just like choosing what to wear or what to eat. Too often we want to have a partner so that people don’t view us as being lonely that we rush into relationships with the first person to give us attention. When that attention fades, and we realize we have nothing in common with the person, we move on to the next.

The reason why your grandparents have been together for 50 years is because they based their relationship decisions on shared information. They focused less on finding someone to meet a status and more on finding the type of partner that shared their interests, desires, dreams, and more.

3. Go with the Flow

People did not date as much 50 years ago as they do now. In general, they found the person they were looking for and stuck with them. Feeling like you can only have one or two partners in your life puts a lot of pressure on yourself to make even bad relationships work. Instead, go with the flow. Who cares, really, if you date 30 people before finding your special someone? It’s not any of their business anyway! Let your love life go as it will. Date. Don’t date. Do what makes you happy, and be sure that along the way, you are not compromising your happiness for someone else.