Are You a Commitment Phobe?

There are two words that no person wants their name associated with – commitment-phobe. To say that you have a phobia of commitment implies that you are not capable of sustaining a long-term relationship for one reason or another. People never want to admit that they are anything short of “normal” by societal standards. Unfortunately, millions of people deal with some level of commitment phobia every day. It impacts their relationships – both personal and professional – and has a dramatic impact on their lives. This feeling of not wanting to or being afraid to set down roots with any one person, in any one place, in any one situation typically stems from the emotional trauma that has been endured over the years. The funny thing is that many of these people do not even realize that they are the ones with the phobia!

Being stuck in a rut with someone who is afraid of commitment is a special kind of challenge. On one hand, you feel like you should stay because you know the person just needs time. On the other hand, you continue to ask yourself if it is really worth it to keep staying when you clearly could be off living your life. Not sure if you or the person you are dating is showing a fear of commitment? Here are some tell-tale signs of this.

1. The Contingency Plan Is in Place

Individuals who struggle with commitment typically have a plan of action, should things go south, already in place. Maybe they are holding on to their former apartment or keeping money aside or maybe they are even refraining from purchasing too much belongings because they don’t want to have to move it in the future. There are constantly ready to go. During an argument, they are the type of person who will throw in the towel first under the guise that they “aren’t good enough” or “can’t make you happy”.

2. There Is a Life Plan That Controls Their Life

Have you ever met a person who is perpetually single? When you ask them why they don’t date or ever go out, they always tell you that they are busy with work/school/their life plan. There is a fine line between type-a personalities and someone who lets their life plan consume them in an attempt to prevent others from having any notion that they should or will get married or settle down anytime now or in the future.

3. They Stress Over Soulmates and Bad Relationship Decisions

Quite possibly, the most obvious sign of someone who is afraid of commitment is the person who is constantly stressing over whether or not the decision to be with someone is a good decision. These individuals are consumed with having everything be exactly as they think it should be in terms of their relationship. It is these people who never want to settle down or move on to the next step because they are too afraid that it will not work out. Words like soulmate and the one frequent their conversations about relationships. There is no doubt that epic love exists for people. In order to find it, however, you have to be willing to wade through the less-than-perfect situations. You have to want to see what will happen next and have faith that the journey is worth it.

People who are afraid of commitment have to realize they are before they can ever move forward in a relationship. Once they conquer that fear, everything else seems like a small stepping stone on the way to their happier self. If you are dating someone who is like this, there is nothing you can do to change them. You can only sit back and enjoy the ride and hope for the best, or let go and move on to someone who is on the same level as you.